SOLO TRAVELLER - Part 1

MONDAY MUSINGS - "Solo is sassy, sincere, and meaningful"

I was lucky enough to go away for Christmas this year. A special treat for my mum and I, after a very difficult 2025.

Whilst I was immersed in a beautiful river cruise, surrounded by culture and extraordinary architecture in the beautiful places we visited in Europe, I must admit that I also found great inspiration in some of my fellow travellers.

It’s only natural that when you’re in a setting like this, and a confined space for a week, that you will meet others and share your experiences with strangers. Some you will forget, some you will never see again. Some you will remember for years to come and some you may even stay in touch with - some may even become friends.

You cross paths daily over the week onboard and faces become familiar, that polite greeting becomes more enthusiastic as you pass in the corridor yet again. You learn which cabin belongs to who, and you start to notice people gravitate towards the same table each night at dinner, and chose the same breakfast each morning.

You quickly learn who the dominant characters are on board. You eavesdrop on conversations, just to learn more interesting facts about your shipmates. You try to work out how people are related, and you notice dynamics within families. Oh and there is absolutely a ‘rumour mill’ onboard, and I find it amazing that this can be established in such a short space of time. You actually do hear gossip about people, have strange stories repeated, with no intention, you end up sharing information with others about people you have spoken to. There was also a sickness bug onboard and there was lots of whispering about who had been sick.

Travel anxiety is a big thing for me. I don’t necessarily know where that comes from, but it’s definitely worsened as I’ve got older, rather than improving, as you may expect. I could give you a long list of ways this impacts me, but that’s not what this post was intended for. I’d rather tell you how this trip gave me a slightly different perspective.

I wrote a couple of posts about the pros and cons of living alone, and how I have grown into my own solitude. But what about travelling alone? Can this give you the same pros, particularly when travelling is a big source of anxiety for you?

Onboard the ship, we shared Christmas with people from all walks of life - couples, families and friends from all over the world. We shared dinner at the chefs table on the first night with a couple from Canada. They wanted to find common ground with us by sharing their knowledge of British pop culture, and wanted to know if we had been to the Zebra Crossing on Abbey Road. However, we never spoke to them again!

The immediate association with British pop culture when you announce you are British, and a born and bred Londoner, seemed to be a common theme. The following night we met a couple from Florida, who excitedly showed off the merchandise they purchased at Abba Voyage when they visited London two years ago.

But then we met a group of women who, as aforementioned, sat on the same table at dinner each night – the largest table in the restaurant, because their group was so large. An all female group, immersed in chatter and laughter. The best of friends, one would assume. But a closer look would show you some great discrepancy in ages and a variety of ‘accents’ amongst this group, who actually had never even met prior to boarding this ship.

This group were the solo travellers.

I know plenty people who would adamantly say that they could never travel alone, and the prospect feels daunting to many, even for those making the brave leap to travel alone. But why shouldn’t we see the things we desire, visit places we have dreamed of, and broaden our horizons, just because we fear doing it alone? I question what a travel companion gives you other than fulfilling our desire to want to share these experiences with someone we hold close, and goodness me, that’s more than a valid reason, but it doesn’t mean you can’t experience it with the same joy alone.

As a single childless woman over 40, I know that if I want to travel or broaden my horizons, it’s likely I will have to do it alone. Friends trips are a thing of the past for my married mothering friends, and you become the third wheel or the hired help on any other kind of group trip.

I travelled solo to Turkey about 15 years ago, I went to a Spa, and I was so burnt out at that point I knew I needed to travel alone so I really would just only relax. After a few hours at Heathrow, a 4 hour flight and a 2 hour transfer with a driver who didn’t speak a word of English, I finally reached my destination. I’d only just arrived and I was already sick to death of my own company, and the holiday hadn’t even started yet.

I got chatting to a woman at the pool, mid conversation she turns to her husband on the sun lounger and says “She’s travelling on her own” – as if it was breaking news and she needed to broadcast it immediately. I knew she was partly saying it quite harmlessly in some level of admiration for my ‘bravery’ but equally it was evidently an alien concept to them both. I came to tolerate my own company and survived generally unscathed, the only thing I did find hard was meal times. Sitting down near on three times a day to eat alone was a struggle for me, it was the only time the sensation of loneliness crept in.

That was what was so lovely about the solo travellers on the ship, the comradery they so very quickly developed, and the fact that they sat together at meal times on an ever expanding table, as they welcomed more people in to join their gang.

Mum and I were lucky enough to become honorary members!

There was a sisterhood amongst the group, despite the fact that there were many differences amongst the various characters, they seemed to manage to have this somewhat innate understanding of each individual.

If you are travelling solo at Christmas, there’s most likely a personal story attached to that, because you could argue that the festive season is supposed to be about togetherness and family and appreciating the ones we love. So when someone makes the choice to travel solo over Christmas, there is likely a personal reason behind it. That may be of sadness, but it may also be of positive empowerment. I never questioned any of the solo travellers as to what was behind their decision to spend Christmas alone and of substantial distance away from family and friends during the festive period.

Instead, I just admired them. For their determination to follow their dreams, be who they want to be, and take ownership of the direction of their own lives, regardless of who they have around them. If you can fly halfway across the world solo – you can fly through life in your own familiar surroundings solo. I truly believe that.

As I said, travel anxiety is this really unwelcome ‘thing’ that plagues my life, but the level of ‘exposure therapy’ that solo travel offers is likely exactly what someone of my anxious disposition needs to help to overcome it.

Kathryn, Stephanie & Megan – you inspire me. You opened my eyes, you showed me what is possible, you showed me the bravery and comfort to be found in thriving in your independence. Your sweet curiosity was both endearing and encouraging.

Solo isn’t sad.

Solo isn’t lonely – these ladies have taught me that.

My recent experience has shown me that solo is sassy, sincere, and meaningful. Solo shows both independence and integrity. It requires drive and a desire - the solo traveller knows what they want and they achieve and succeed alone with this strong sense of drive. Take me there, let me check this off my bucket list, because I can, and I will.

Solo is brave, and it allows us to be true to ourselves.

I find myself in the subgroup of ‘team solo’ who have minimal options other than to travel solo. But this is not the only reason why you may find yourself in the solo traveller camp.

What about a hard working mum just having time out on her own? Or taking time out of family life to learn something new, or just have a re-set? What about Sally who’s been dying to see the pyramids forever, but her hubby Jason refuses to go there, so she just braves it alone, and she is happy as Larry doing it alone, because it means so much to her and she didn’t allow someone to stand in her way to deny her that.

Or maybe you find that you just prefer the solo travel life?

There are many reasons for it, and there are many reasons to fear it. But the women I met, who were doing it alone, were real characters, each with individual determination and desires to see the world.

Each with the confidence, independence and bravery that you will either admire or you will fear, or be unable to comprehend.

The moment we danced on the ships tiny dancefloor and screeched along at the top of our lungs to Whitney Houston, I knew I loved these gals! That’s what unlimited wine at dinner and a side of Christmas spirit do to unite you.

I know the solo girls experiences was very different the my solo experience in Turkey, I know how different, because I lived their experience with them. They showed me solo travel doesn’t need to be feared, and what it offers you enriches your life in ways that far outweigh the fears.

Next week I need to tell you about Michael….